Letters to ???

Dear GB,

i know i haven't been blogging about you in awhile, how discourteous of me, i mean us being enemies fo lyf and all. You're just not very interesting and i don't really think about you anymore (don't take it personally.... it's you not me.) Well i wouldn't have thought of you if my friend (and your fan) Mrs anonymous-i-am-not-a-stalker (say that the way marina and the diamonds do)(SAY IT) didn't call me in the middle of the afternoon to update me. She/He(this is necessary for anonymity) thinks you look CUTE. Well i almost gagged, choked then died on the air in the study so i had to go out for a breather. She/He must have been mistaken, I mean to think YOU and CUTE belong in the same sentence that is just Ridic-ulous. With a capital "R". But to each his own, well, this will probably be the last time i ever speak of you because i'm already bored typing less then a hundred words about you. I hope you will one day learn that your one-sided hatred for me will die out because i don't even hate you anymore i just think you're a loser with red underpants. Too bad!

I dislike you,
Venus