Instead of spamming your already spammed facebook wall...

Dearest Bathamapriya daughter of Veeriah,

I'm sorry i won't be able to come to your grandest and most exciting sweet 16 birthday bash. There are things that are out of my control, such as; my mother's mind. I deeply apologize. However, i hope your party will look something along the lines of this:

and everyone at the party will be doing things like that:

That's right, wearing victorian dresses and standing on the table throwing cake at each other is the ultimate party game. Everyone knows that.

Enough of what your party should/could be like. I hope that we can have a

two man party once i'm ungrounded (after o-levels mayhaps?) and

 I can surprise you by pretending to be a stallion..................Nahh. Unless it has always been your secret wish to have me dressed in a horse suit and galloping to you with a cupcake in my hoof. (??)

Why do i keep harping on about the "could be"s The unchangeable fact is that today is YOUR BIRTHDAY (i even used an e-highlighter to highlight it and my e-markers to use different colours)(yay me) and since its YOUR birthday i hope you have a wonderfully smashing one! i shall end with one last picture that i hope you will live by.

~end of slide show~

Yours Truly,
The man who can't be moved (You know where to find me?)