Shi jie shang zhi you mama hao (Mothers are the best in the whole entire world)

i complimented my mom on her cute shirt and she told me she got it cos she went to watch a concert with my baby cousin freja and my sister emma, and they were caught in the rain and the concert hall was hot as ice.

valere: "was freja wet?"

mom: " yeah but she had extra clothes."

valerie: "was emma wet?"

mom: "yeah but she has extra fats"

Best Medicine

Watching the nanny made me laugh like Fran, scary but true. I remember watching niga higa and i was laughing and laughing and laughing. Grandma told my mom to go check on me cause i sounded like i was weeping like a pig. I have a horrible laugh. At abigail's house, her brother heard my laugh and he was like "Mom, there's a screaming banshee in the garden."

Oh.

Valerie:

mom, when I'm stressed i run away! do i have manic depressive disorder?

mom:

no, you just have a weak character

Hot buttons

imagine this, without the pants

Valerie :

" Oh my gosh, the lady gave me sake! I look so mature!"

Mom:

" maybe cause you look like a grandma"

These few days have been so hectic! Hector the Hectic! my brother was so wasted last night, it was the strangest thing. I hope to god that it never happens again.

• He refused to put on his pants even though we were going to macs (public place) and kept telling me to "chill OK? just chill"

• he kept laughing moronically. Like "Nyaheheheh" it was not the soundtrack of my summer.

• he did not eat his hash brown.

Vodka makes you stupid.

Prior to the post where i sounded like an "emo freakazoid" OK everybody, i love you but just cause he's a guy does not mean it's love, also the song was not for him it was for my new duo with Hannah : Steak & fries. Our album, Chunky Thighs, will be out.....very soon, very very soon. So yes, now we don't hate each other anymore (joy) right now, i think we're frenemies.

Mad About Cats

I'm having a hello kitty obsession now, it's come a bit late for me, i know it was so maybe 20 years ago, but I'm a late bloomer OK?

I want this! it's real! Like a 5 mega pixel digital camera!

i saw this at Mustafa and my mom thought it was some ugly fake hello kitty phone and REFUSED to buy it for me, despite my begging.

Is this furreal?

I'm so scared to pierce my tragus now! AAAAHHHH! i just read online that they use a needle and poke through and it bleeds right away! OK I'm going to pierce my tragus not go on fear factor hello! I'm cowering in fear at my computer table. During band, EVERYONE was saying how IMMENSELY PAINFUL it is and how u can hear the "crunching" of the bone and that there will be a lot of pus and blood. Eunice was helping me figure out if my tragus was too small and would split if i pierced it and APPARENTLY IT IS! We used my hair clips to clip onto my tragu and she said it was really close to the edge,ohmygawd, so i forced my juniors to use a permanent marker to mark the spot my piercing would be. i don't know, I'm so sad.

On a lighter note, i bought hello kitty clips and Darryl and i had a wonderful email exchange about the dicks in his school.

K-R-A-Z-Y

Welcome to my very first Plog! I think it's very smart of myself to think of such a creative thingamagik!! Well done me! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUZZY AND MOM AND NIRMAL SINGH!

Damn, she's a girl. Girls shouldn't have short hair......oh wait.

that guy looks like storm and that girl has way too much hair.

If only I could fly..................

The way to a man's heart: lawn mower and large nostrils

People who come to my blog don't say "hi val! ur so pretty.ur so amazing. iloveu.marryme.mwahmwah" anymore, they just come and go like...food....(super sad moment)
Yes, so if you're reading this (cause I know you are, I have a count-o-meter and the count-o-meter never lies!) then I think you should say hello because that's what I do when I visit other blogs..... I say intellectual things like :"hahahahahhaha....hi." or..... sometimes I call them names like "raj" when it's actually Sarah (and she's my cousin) or sometimes... I write uber long emails that fail to get sent out. Whatever, it's the thought that counts. Do I sound sluggish? Cause I kinda feel like a slug, like that fat monster slug in monster inc. SO guys, please! Be a responsible reader and DO THE RIGHT THING. Or I will tell your mothers. Yes I will.


p.s If you did not understand wtf I wrote in the above space it's cause I speak slug.

Long Live the Slugs